| day 90 |

"Love sucks. Sometimes it feels good. Sometimes it's just another way to bleed."

| day 89 |

"Despite all my rage, I am still just a rat in the cage."

| day 88 |

"How little the public realizes what a girl must go through before she finally appears before the spotlight that is thrown upon the stage."

| day 87 |

"She worried way too much what people thought of her, wore her heart on her sleeve, expected too much from people, and got hurt too easily. She kept other people's secrets like a champ, but told her own too fast. She expected the world not to cheat her and was always surprised when it did."
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Want to use this image for your desktop? Well now you can! If you want any other sizes or a specific past wallpaper, just let me know!

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| day 86 |

"The mold in which a key is made would be a strange thing, if you had never seen a key: and the key itself a strange thing if you had never seen a lock. Your soul has a curious shape because it is a hollow made to fit a particular swelling in the infinite contours of the divine substance, or a key to unlock one of the doors in the house with many mansions."

| day 85 |

"If you try to view yourself through the lenses that others offer you, all you will see are distortions; your own light and beauty will become blurred, awkward, and ugly. Your sense of inner beauty has to remain a very private thing."

| week twelve |

3/13 months (yes, 13)! Dang.

It's irritating...this week will end at 91, and the next at 98. That 100 mark is taunting me. Someone told me once I hit 100 though, it's almost like the point of no return. I never thought I'd even have this many, but dang...365 is still so far away. Ugh.

I really have nothing to elaborate on this week picture-wise. I will say though, that I had an amazing weekend in Rochester, and words cannot express how much better I feel on all levels. I'm sure this came through in the day 83 photo though.

And now, back to your regular scheduled program.

| day 84 |

"You're on the road, but you've got no destination. You're in the mud, in the maze of her imagination. You love this town, even if that doesn't ring true. You've been all over, and it's been all over you. It's a beautiful day - don't let it get away."
---
The greatest weekend.

| day 83 |

"I think if I've learned anything about friendship, it's to hang in, stay connected, fight for them, and let them fight for you. Don't walk away, don't be distracted, don't be too busy or tired, don't take them for granted. Friends are part of the glue that holds life and faith together. Powerful stuff."

| day 82 |

"And both that morning equally lay in leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back. I shall be telling this with a sigh somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, and that has made all the difference."

| day 81 |

"A joker is a little fool who is different from everyone else. He's not a club, diamond, heart, or spade. He's not an eight or a nine, a king or a jack. He is an outsider. He is placed in the same pack as the other cards, but he doesn't belong there. Therefore, he can be removed without anybody missing him."
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The Suicide King.

| day 80 |

"So you want a knife, a nice sharp knife. You hone that blade to its limits. It even cuts through stone when you want it to. It saves your life. And then you're outraged when it cuts you accidentally. You see, knives don't switch off. And neither do people, not when you hone them to a fine edge."

| day 79 |

“If one studies too zealously, one easily loses his pants.”
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Caught with my pants down. My legs are the most discolored/wonky parts of my body. The end.

| day 78 |

"Light up the darkness."
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Love247 exists to raise awareness, offer hope, and to promote healthier relationships for those struggling with depression, suicide, self-injury, and addiction. Love247 and its members are not, however, professionally qualified to handle such matters as depression or suicide. Our main goal is to love those struggling 24/7 through relationships with peers and professionals.

For more information on Love247, visit us on our Facebook group.

| week eleven |

Only 288 more days to go!

This week was a good week for pictures. I liked all of them, minus the snapshot-esque one when leaving OBX, but it couldn't be avoided. I think day 73 and 76 were my favorites aesthetically, while 74 and 76 were emotional favorites. All in all, a very good week that I am pleased with.

This week is another short update. On a fun side note, I'll be heading to Rochester, NY this weekend to visit one of my favorite people, so I'm assuming the pictures will be fun with new surroundings. Also, the leaves are starting to change, so I'll be jumping all over that soon =)

Until next time...

| day 77 |

"The bathroom mirror has not budged, the woman who lives there can tell the truth from the stuff they say and looks me in the eye- says do you prefer the easy way? No? Well okay then, don't cry."

| day 76 |

"I don’t know if you’ve ever felt like that. That you wanted to sleep for a thousand years. Or just not exist. Or just not be aware that you do exist. Or something like that. I think wanting that is very morbid, but I want it when I get like this. That’s why I’m trying not to think. I just want it all to stop spinning."

"She wasn't bitter. She was sad, though. But it was a hopeful kind of sad. The kind of sad that just takes time."

| day 75 |

"She says nothing at all, but simply stares upward into the dark sky and watches, with sad eyes, the slow dance of the infinite stars."

| day 74 |

"I hate the way you're always right, I hate it when you lie. I hate it when you make me laugh, even worse when you make me cry. I hate it when you're not around, and the fact that you didn't call. But mostly I hate the way I don't hate you, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all."

| day 73 |

"He vanishes unwillingly, without warning. I wait for him. Each moment that I wait feels like a year, an eternity. Each moment is as slow and transparent as glass. Through each moment I can see infinite moments lined up, waiting. Why has he gone where I cannot follow?"

| day 72 |

"Coming back to where you started is not the same as never leaving."

| day 71 |

"Where you used to be, there is a hole in the world, which I find myself constantly walking around in the daytime, and falling in at night. I miss you like hell."

| week ten |

This week, I met my 65 day mark. In other words, less than 300 days to go now!

I know that this week was once again a bit weak, but I'm still having fun, y'know? Some days, I don't feel like being serious, and there are things I want to show people with just a snapshot. Granted, the picture of my feet in those socks is definitely my favorite (go figure). Also, the newt picture was fun.

In other news, I am currently at the beach (obviously), and am having a blast =] Sadly, I have to return home tomorrow, but oh well. I'm just ecstatic that I reached my 65 mark...honestly. Next milestone...100!

| day 70 |

"The sea is emotion incarnate. It loves, hates, and weeps. It defies all attempts to capture it with words and rejects all shackles. No matter what you say about it, there is always that which you can't."

| day 69 |

"When all else fails, take a vacation."
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OBX - you should all be jealous =]

| day 68 |

"Well, she turned me into a newt!"
"A newt?"
"...I got better."

| day 67 |

"She dropped her shyness like a nightgown, and in the liquid glare of sunlight on old boards she held up her hands-as if, in the terror of the upcoming skirmish, she had at last understood that she was beautiful. In her own way."

| day 66 |

"Where there is no imagination there is no horror."

| day 65 |

"Great minds taste alike."
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I would like to take this moment to note that, as of today, I have 300 days to go =]

| day 64 |

"It’s the Longing that ultimately undoes you. When it finds you, it gnaws at your bones and tugs at your chest. It fills you up inside like rot and makes you dream dreams and it drowns you. The Longing keeps you in bed, clutching at your sheets while the world goes on outside. It smells like old leaves and cigarette smoke, mixed with the scent of far-off places you will hear of, but never see. It’s the gloss on a lover’s lips the moment you realize you will never kiss those lips again. It is the bittersweet, unrequited love of creation and it will break your heart again and again and again."

| week nine |

9/52

This was another bad week, and I apologize. I feel weird rambling about my emotions on this blog, but I guess it's all a part of the journey?

I will be honest and say I have been nothing but depressed this past week or two. I know I've been a bore/Debbie Downer, but there is just so much stress (mainly people related, not work load as much). I know I'm bringing myself and my photography down with it, so I guess that's why I felt the need to share on here.

It's weird though, some of these days, taking my picture is the only real time I have to myself. Usually I'm doing something else, or surrounded by people. It's almost a release...and I do love it. Once I actually have my idea, I'm so happy behind/in front of my camera. I guess I should attempt to take my moods and twist them into my photography...but I have to say, it's very difficult to focus when I'm in these moods.

I'm really not in the mood for a long blog, so until next week...


P.S. - Go see Zombieland!

| day 63 |

"Homemade cookies are one of the best parts of christmas. It's an absolute fundamental."
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It's not Christmas, but hey. Once again, camera is dead, so apologies for the quality.

| day 62 |

"When we hold each other, in the darkness, it doesn't make the darkness go away. The bad things are still out there. The nightmares still walking. When we hold each other we feel not safe, but better. "It's all right" we whisper, "I'm here, I love you." and we lie: "I'll never leave you." For just a moment or two the darkness doesn't seem so bad."
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Apologies for the terrible picture/quality. My battery died and had to use a point and shoot.

| day 61 |

"If growing up means it would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree, I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up! Not me!"

| day 60 |

“Don't dwell on what went wrong. Instead, focus on what to do next. Spend your energies on moving forward toward finding the answer.”
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Ugh. What a terrible week. Tomorrow will be better.