| day 259 |

"Where I'll end up, well, I think only God really knows."

| day 258 |

"I'm not out here looking for no garbage cans to curl up in. I'm looking for the same good dreams everybody else is hoping for, but I don't see where they are. Or maybe I see where they are, but I don't see how to get there."

| day 257 |

"I believe in a set of values I cannot live by. I set high goals for myself, I seek perfection, dream of exotic faraway places. But ultimately, what I long for isn't far away at all. It's in my own backyard. Imperfection charms me, familiar things move me...a celebration of what we have, instead of what we long for. That for me, is glamor."

| day 256 |

"She's like a prisoner inside stone walls, and every day the walls get a little thicker, the doorways a little narrower."

| day 255 |

"We reach with our hands, and brush away the clouds, and pierce the sky to reach the moon and Mars, but we still can't reach the truth."

| day 254 |

"And I'm not what I appear to be..."

| day 253 |

"Oh boy, you've left me speechless."

| week thirty-six |

| day 252 |

"So hold on to me tight, hold on to me tonight. We are stronger here together, than we could ever be alone. So hold on to me, don't you ever let me go."

| day 251 |

"And I know that it’s complicated, but I’m a loser in love. So baby raise a glass to mend all the broken hearts of all my wrecked up friends."

| day 250 |

"There's nothing you can’t do, now you’re in New York."

| day 249 |

"The studying, the books, exams, arguments, theories. The jokes and pints, laughter, kisses and songs. Life was like running, ninety percent sweat and toil, ten percent joy."

| day 248 |

"Prima donna, first lady of the stage! Your devotees are on their knees to implore you!"

| day 247 |

"Maybe the truth is, there's a little bit of loser in all of us. Being happy isn't having everything in your life be perfect. Maybe it's about stringing together all the little things."

| day 246 |

"Hope and fear are two sides of the same coin. She didn't want to give up hope, so she was just going to have to live with the fear."

| week thirty-five |

If you noticed, the post numbers changed slightly and it may have seemed like I went down in my count. Well, I did not skip a day of posting, but I miscounted on my blog here about two weeks ago, so I was up by one. I noticed it tonight on Facebook when my album count was off with my day count. Thank goodness Cogan helped me figure it out!

Anyway. I know I don't update on journals often. I feel like I never have time or nothing new to say (I'm sure I've said this before). To be honest, I still feel like I'm just starting the project. It doesn't feel like I've grown, although I know I have. It's the weirdest feeling.

Also, I can't believe that in about two or three weeks I'm going to be having my countdown. You're probably like, "Countdown? Huh?" Well, for some reason, I keep counting upwards to 365 instead of saying so-and-so more days to go. But I feel like day 265 is going to be the turnaround - I'm going to start counting down (mentally). This is just crazy.

If anyone actually sticks with my blog, thank you so much.

Until next time.

| day 245 |

"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on."

---

Little Jude =)

| day 244 |

"I can see inside you, the sickness is rising - don't try to deny what you feel."

| day 243 |

"What a lovely way to burn..."

| day 242 |

"I'm a fool for you."

| day 241 |

"I learned something in the juice isle, and that is, I don't know what's going on with cranberries, but they're getting in all the other juices. Whoever the salesman for cranberries does a great job. He's showing up everywhere. 'Hey what do you got? Apples? Well let's put some cranberries in them; we'll call it cran-apple - go fifty fifty. What do you got? Grapes? What about cran-grape? What do you got? Mangos? Cran-mango! What do you got? Pork chops? Cran-chops!'"

| day 240 |

"I will not play at tug o'war. I'd rather play at hug o'war, where everyone hugs instead of tugs, where everyone giggles and rolls on the rug, where everyone kisses, and everyone grins, and everyone cuddles, and everyone wins."

| day 239 |

"Funny how a beautiful song could tell such a sad story."

| week thirty-four |

Ugh. Bad week.

| day 238 |

"Every new friend is a new adventure...the start of more memories."

---

I know it's technically cheating, but the pic was put onto my computer today and I won't be back until late tonight (aka, not sure if it will be before midnight).

| day 237 |

"I'm the girl who is lost in space, the girl who is disappearing always, forever fading away and receding farther and farther into the background. Just like the Cheshire cat, someday I will suddenly leave, but the artificial warmth of my smile, that phony, clownish curve, the kind you see on miserably sad people and villains in Disney movies, will remain behind as an ironic remnant. I am the girl you see in the photograph from some party someplace or some picnic in the park, the one who is in fact soon to be gone. When you look at the picture again, I want to assure you, I will no longer be there. I will be erased from history, like a traitor in the Soviet Union. Because with every day that goes by, I feel myself becoming more and more invisible..."

| day 236 |

"Then the singing enveloped me. It was furry and resonant, coming from everyone's very heart. There was no sense of performance or judgment, only that the music was breath and food."

| day 235 |

"To photograph is to hold one's breath, when all faculties converge to capture fleeting reality. It's at that precise moment that mastering an image becomes a great physical and intellectual joy."

| day 234 |

"They say there's no harm in daydreaming, but there is."
---
One of the most memorable/exciting experiences I think I will ever have! =)
I love how unprepared she was for this picture. Lol.

| day 233 |

"Seize the day boys, make your lives extraordinary."

| day 232 |

"We are stuck with technology when what we really want is just stuff that works."

---

I used this as my pic today because I had already emailed it to myself when my computer wasn't working =(

| week thirty-three |

I'm failing at these blogs lately.

| day 231 |

"How can I hope to make you understand why I do, what I do?"

| day 230 |

"It was only a smile, nothing more. It didn't make everything all right. It didn't make ANYTHING all right. Only a smile. A tiny thing. A leaf in the woods, shaking in the wake of a startled bird's flight. But I'll take it. With open arms. Because when spring comes, it melts the snow one flake at a time, and maybe I just witnessed the first flake melting."

| day 229 |

"She wanted something to happen - something, anything: she did not know what."

| day 228 |

"Sometimes it seems safer to hold it all in, where the only person who can judge is yourself."

| day 227 |

"No one could tell you: you just had to go through it on your own. If you were lucky, you came out on the other side and understood. If you didn't, you kept getting thrust back, retracing those steps, until you finally got it right."

| day 226 |

"Walk towards the sunshine, and the shadows will fall behind you."

| day 225 |

"As a bathtub lined with white porcelain, when the hot water gives out or goes tepid, so is the slow cooling of our chivalrous passion - O my much praised but-not-altogether-satisfactory lady."

| week thirty-two |

Ahh, 20 more weeks and I'm done! That's 139 days for those who can't do the math :P

---

Also, congratulations to Francesca on her brand new baby boy - Jude Anthony F.! 9lbs, 12oz and 22 inches!

| day 224 |

"I would like to be the air that inhabits you for a moment only. I would like to be that unnoticed and that necessary."

| day 223 |

"Raindrops on roses and girls in white dresses, and sleeping with roaches and taking best guesses, and shade of the sheets and before all the stains, and a few more of your least favorite things..."

| day 222 |

"Oh, the places you'll go!"

| day 221 |

"She's a woman. Like a chameleon does, a woman quietly blends into all the parts of her life. Sometimes you can hardly tell she's there, she's so quiet going on about her business. Feed the baby. Muck the stables. Make soup from stones. Make a sheet into a dress. She doesn't count on destiny for anything. She knows its her own hands, her own arms, her own thighs and breasts that have to do the work. Destiny is bigger in men's lives. Destiny is a welcome guest in a man's house. She barely knocks and he's there to open the door. 'Yes, yes. You do it,' he says to destiny and lumbers back to his chair."

| day 220 |

"I slide down between the sheets beside him, like a secret letter slipped into the safety of an envelope. And dream of ancient places, where everyone is young."

| day 219 |

"You need not be sorry for her. She was one of the kind that likes to grow up. In the end she grew up of her own free will a day quicker than the other girls."

| day 218 |

"Nature's first green is gold, her hardest hue to hold. Her early leaf's a flower; but only so an hour. Then leaf subsides to leaf. So Eden sank to grief, so dawn goes down to day. Nothing gold can stay."

| week thirty-one |

These blogs have been getting difficult to do. Mainly due to time restraints, but also just because I don't have any new epiphanies to talk about.

Regardless, 21 more weeks to go.

| day 217 |

"Your visions will become clear only when you can look into your own heart. Who looks outside, dreams; who looks inside, awakes."

| day 216 |

"I hate this feeling. Like I'm here, but I'm not. Like someone cares. But they don't. Like I belong somewhere else, anywhere but here, and escape lies just past that snowy window, cool and crisp as the February air."

| day 215 |

"The past was nothing to her; offered no lesson which she was willing to heed. The future was a mystery which she never attempted to penetrate. The present alone was significant..."

| day 214 |

"Her heart - like every heart, if only its fallen sides were cleared away - was an inexhaustible fountain of love: she loved everything she saw."

| day 213 |

"We were not slaves of love; most of us were and are slaves of longing-- yearning for a master who will set us free and claim us because we cannot claim ourselves."

| day 212 |

"You can't measure the mutual affection of two human beings by the number of words they exchange."

| day 211 |

"We are cups, constantly and quietly being filled. The trick is, knowing how to tip ourselves over and let the beautiful stuff out."

| week thirty |

Lata.