| day 182 |

"Deep down, all the while, she was waiting for something to happen. Like a sailor in distress, she kept casting desperate glances over the solitary waste of her life, seeking some white sail in the distant mists of the horizon. She had no idea by what wind it would reach her, toward what shore it would bear her, or what kind of craft it would be - tiny boat or towering vessel, laden with heartbreaks or filled to the gunwales with rapture. But every morning when she awoke she hoped that today would be the day; she listened for every sound, gave sudden starts, was surprised when nothing happened; and then, sadder with each succeeding sunset, she longed for tomorrow."

| day 181 |

"Fate is an elegant, cold-hearted whore, she loves salting my wounds, yes she enjoys nothing more."

| day 180 |

"I want to tear myself from this place, from this reality, rise up like a cloud and float away, melt into this humid summer night and dissolve somewhere far, over the hills. But I am here, my legs blocks of concrete, my lungs empty of air, my throat burning. There will be no floating away."
---
This...was so hard. I'm not happy with it at all, but it's the best of like..30.

| day 179 |

"Just because I'm so horribly conditioned to accept everybody else's values, and just because I like applause and for every else to rave about me doesn't make it right. I'm ashamed of it. I'm sick of it. I'm sick of not having the courage to be an absolute nobody. I'm sick of myself and everybody else that wants to make some kind of splash."

| day 178 |

"Like a foam-topped water-spout cast down headlong in the sea, she fell at last; pleasure past and anguish past, is it death or is it life?"

| day 177 |

"There were going to be days, I knew, when it would pour without warning, days when I'd find myself without an umbrella. But my understanding would act as my all-purpose slicker and rubber boots. It was preparing me for stormy weather, arming me with the knowledge that no matter how hard it seemed, it couldn't rain forever. At some point, I knew, it would come to an end."

| day 176 |

"Remember when I slept with my head in a puddle at your feet? It was humility, or atonement. Later, your ankle was a pillow and finally you pulled me up. And in my sleep I placed your hand above my heart, like I forgot I didn't live there anymore."

| week twenty-five |

After this week is over, I can finally sing the chorus "Living on a Prayer" in complete honesty. I'm kind of baffled. I know I say it a lot, but it doesn't seem like that much. Yeah, half is 182ish pictures, but I can take that amount in a single photo shoot. I guess what I'm saying is that I still have a long way to go.

On the other hand, I still really love everything I am learning from this. If someone were to ask me what I have gained from this so far, I would tell them to not take a single day for granted. Every day can be made into something beautiful and unique, no matter how uneventful it may be. I know people say this a lot, but I don't think you can fully appreciate the worth of every single day in a year unless you've taken your own journey through this project.

So for now, I'll just keep on pushing forward.


Until next time...

| day 175 |

"The best way out is always through."

| day 174 |

"You can go through life and make new friends every year - every month practically - but there was never any substitute for those friendships of childhood that survive into adult years. Those are the ones in which we are bound to one another with hoops of steel."

| day 173 |

"Being crazy isn't enough."

| day 172 |

"When words become unclear, I shall focus with photographs. When images become inadequate, I shall be content with silence."

| day 171 |

"Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal."

| day 170 |

"Today you are You, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is Youer than You."
---
I love when I get the photo to be the exact image that was in my head.

| day 169 |

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase."
---
I know, I have a leg/foot obsession.

| week twenty-four |

Phew. I am getting really bad with my journals, haha. But I'm not as concerned about them as I am with the pictures. Regardless, I'm so close to the half-way mark!!

I will say I have come to a realization with this project recently. Yes, there are many more things to learn/gain from this experience and I know I'm not even close to finishing, BUT I am learning some of it as I go. For instance, I really feel that I am reaching a lot of people with this. I mean, I know my friends follow it, my family, random acquaintances, etc., but it is so touching when strangers contact me and tell me I'm doing a great job. Examples:

"I know you don't know me but I just wanted to tell you that I am absolutely in love with this whole Project 365 you have been working on. You are just beyond talented and all of your photos are gorgeous. You are such an inspiration and (by the looks of it) a very strong and beautiful person inside and out."

Granted, this is only a recent message I got, but I have gotten messages from at least two other strangers complimenting me. One of them I met for lunch and am now friends with, all because of this project =) Also, it has helped me connect with people I "know", but never talked to. AND this project is what a friend showed my now boyfriend to entice him to talk to me!

So yes. That was my realization for the week and I feel great about it. The end.


Until next time.

| day 168 |

"That's how it is with art. Mere humans who root through their refrigerators at three o'clock in the morning are incapable of such writing."

| day 167 |

"Happiness is only real when shared."
---
Happy 30th anniversary Mama and Papa Schools!

| day 166 |

"I want what we all want - to move certain parts of the interior of myself into the exterior world, to see if they can be embraced."

| day 165 |

"It's about a girl who is on the cusp of becoming someone. A girl who may not know what she wants right now, and she may not know who she is right now, but who deserves the chance to find out."
---
200 days to go!

| day 164 |

"Beware of pretty faces that you find - a pretty face can hide an evil mind."

| day 163 |

"The mirror can lie - it doesn't show you what's inside. And it, it can tell you you're full of life. It's amazing what you can hide just by putting on a smile."

| day 162 |

"It has always seemed to me, ever since early childhood, amid all the commonplaces of life, I was very near to a kingdom of ideal beauty. Between it and me hung only a thin veil. I could never draw it quite aside, but sometimes a wind fluttered it and I caught a glimpse of the enchanting realms beyond - only a glimpse - but those glimpses have always made life worthwhile."

| week twenty-three |

Just 29 more weeks to go...almost halfway there.

This past week was a good week. The theme just seemed to work for whatever mood I was in. I just have to be careful though, because I'm letting my procrastination get the better of me and tend to let the picture taking get late.

I'm sorry my blogs have been kind of weak lately. I just feel so far along that nothing new seems to be coming up with my feelings toward the project. I just keep pushing forward, with or without constant support.

Spring semester starts up again next week...I'm also going to be 20 - aka, no longer a teenager. Not that it makes a difference, I haven't been a teenager in years I think. Oh well.

Until next time...

| day 161 |

"And now our bodies are the guilty ones, who touch and color the hours. Night won’t breathe, oh how we fall into silence from the sky and whisper some silver reply."

| day 160 |

"Walk on with hope in your heart, and you'll never walk alone."

| day 159 |

"That's the thing about girls. Every time they do something pretty, even if they're not much to look at, or even if they're sort of stupid, you fall half in love with them, and then you never know where the hell you are."

| day 158 |

"Oh, I'm gonna be wounded. Oh, I'm gonna be your wound..."

| day 157 |

"Here, take my bed. Lay your head on my lap again. Let me sing to your soul, 'cause where you go, is where I'll be home..."

| day 156 |

"They came to sit and dangle their feet off the edge of the world, and after awhile, they forgot everything but the good and true things they would do someday."

| day 155 |

"We'll meet at the theater tonight. I'll hold your seat 'til you get there; once you get there...you're on your own."

| week twenty-two |

Brb

| day 154 |

"And pictures of perfection, as you know, make me sick and wicked."

| day 153 |

"She was as one who, in madness, was resolute to throw herself from a precipice, but to whom some remnant of sanity remained which forced her to seek those who would save her from herself."

| day 152 |

"The most exhausting thing in life, I have discovered, is being insincere. That is why so much of social life is exhausting; one is wearing a mask. I have shed my mask."
---
My New Year's resolution.