| day 151 |

"Perhaps it's true that things can change in a day. That a few dozen hours can affect the outcome of whole lifetimes. And that when they do, those few dozen hours, like the salvaged remains of a burned house---the charred clock, the singed photograph, the scorched furniture---must be resurrected from the ruins and examined. Preserved. Accounted for. Little events, ordinary things, smashed and reconstituted. Imbued with new meaning. Suddenly they become the bleached bones of a story."

| day 150 |

"We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off."

| day 149 |

"A heart that flashed from heart to stone, heart to stone..."

| day 148 |

"Yeah. We were badasses."
---
Note: Day 148 was posted at 11:25PM on Monday, but I forgot to post a weekly update. In other words, I am so anal about the organization of my blog, I erased the picture from the Day 148 post just so I could have the week twenty-one blog in the spot it's supposed to be - before Day 148.

| week twenty-one |

So as you all know, there wasn't an update last week. My excuse is that my friend went into diabetic shock during the snow "storm" at my house and I had to call the ambulance. It was a crazy week.

I know these last two weeks have sucked. I'm sorry, really. Yeah, there are a few good ones, but between my friend in the ER, my grandmother passing away three days before Christmas, and work...lets just say my focus has not been on my 365.

That said, I'd like to take the time to thank my friend Mike for creating/posting the picture from Day 142. I was at the hospital with my family and did not even think of my 365 until he mentioned something. I asked him to throw up an old pic and an explanation, but he went a step further and made something for me instead.

Also, thank you to everyone else who has been here for me these past two weeks. They have been absolute insanity. Now I'm hoping to up the photo game this week. Fingers crossed?

| day 147 |

"Memory was supposed to fill the time, but it made time a hole to be filled. Each second was two hundred yards, to be walked, crawled. You couldn't see the next hour, it was so far in the distance. Tomorrow was over the horizon, and would take an entire day to reach."

| day 146 |

"If I could spend each day as I please, I would walk down a lane that is lined with tall trees. Or through a meadow where flowers grow, and hunt for a small stream where cool waters flow. I would walk through gently falling rain, watch it cleanse the world and become bright again. Or climb to the top of a wind swept hill, to see the dawn, when the world is still. I would walk through autumn with it's beauty so bright, through a frosty cool evening, and all through the night to watch the stars twinkle at the big harvest moon. There is no time for sleep, beauty ends all too soon..."

(Part of the poem "Just to Walk" by Jean Sholly)

---

In loving memory of D. Jean Sholly (May 20, 1931 - December 22, 2009). I love you g-unit.

| day 145 |

"Once it's too late, you appreciate what a miracle life is. You realize that nature is ruthless and our existence is very fragile, temporary, and precious. But to go on with your daily affairs, you can't really think about that...which is probably why everyone takes the world for granted and why we act so thoughtlessly. It's very confusing. I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up."

---

Today is quick for many reasons. Apologies for the lame week - I had really been looking forward to Christmas themed pictures as well.

Merry Christmas.

| day 144 |

"Our hearts grow tender with childhood memories and love of kindred, and we are better throughout the year for having, in spirit, become a child again at Christmas-time."

| day 143 |

"They say that every cloud has a shiny silver lining, that behind each stormy sky, the faithful sun is shining. I believe that this is true - that every broken heart will mend, that no matter what the problem, good will triumph in the end. For there's a spring in every winter and a dawn in every night. In the midst of every darkness, there's a candle shining bright. For every heavy burden, there's an understanding friend. For every darkened tunnel, there's a light around the bend."

---

I love you g-unit.

| day 142 |

"Sing me a lullaby, a love song, a requiem

Love me, comfort me, bring me to God

Sing me a love song, sing me to Heaven."

| day 141 |

"Excuse me while I kiss the sky."

| week twenty |

No blog this week.

| day 140 |

"Dogs have given us their absolute all. We are the center of their universe. We are the focus of their love and faith and trust. They serve us in return for scraps. It is without a doubt the best deal man has ever made."

| day 139 |

"She remembered Nana saying once that each snowflake was a sigh heaved by an aggrieved woman somewhere in the world. That all the sighs drifted up the sky, gathered into clouds, then broke into tiny pieces that fell silently on the people below. As a reminder of how people like us suffer, she'd said. How quietly we endure all that falls upon us."

| day 138 |

"Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show."

| day 137|

"There is art in my fingertips, a poem in my head, a song brushing past my lips, a piano being fed. A mic waiting to be held, a pen waiting to be used; waiting for the perfect hand and a voice to be felt. This is: EMOTION."

| day 136 |

"You don't need water to feel like you're drowning, do you?"

| day 135 |

"The moment you start clinging to things, you have missed the target--you have missed. Because things are not the target, you, your innermost being, is the target--not a beautiful house, but a beautiful you; not much money, but a rich you; not many things, but an open being, available to millions of things.”

| day 134 |

"Everyone has their weak spot. The one thing that, despite your best efforts, will always bring you to your knees, regardless of how strong you are otherwise."

| week nineteen |

Well, if you couldn't tell, this week sucked on many aspects. Photography quality, work load, timing, etc. I think Monday was the only "good" photograph.

As a re-cap, I didn't go to class Monday because I didn't finish my narrative. Tuesday, I went to class (and night class), then sat in the Mac lab from 8-10 waiting to print my final photo project...only to find that the printer stopped working as soon as I printed one photo. Afterwards, I walked in the snow (in sandals) to the police station, then back to Seavers (thus the Tuesday photo).

The rest of the night then consisted of me staying up to write my narrative - aka, no sleep because I had to be at the lab early to print/mount my project. Waited, waited, oh, I forgot my CD! Christina saved me. CD doesn't work? Awesome. Lets walk to Seavers! CD wants to jam in the laptop? Laptop doesn't want to go to the start-up screen? REALLY cool...especially considering I have 2 hours 'til it's due! Problem solved. Photos printed/mounted/handed in. Dinner, night class (that I slept through), then finally...bed at 1 =)

Thursday was class, home with Chelsea. Friday was Jewish celebrations with Chelsea and Nicky at my g-rents. Saturday was a spontaneous visit from Fran and Patrick, and a lot of fun =)

Sunday was a hot, 911, hospital nightmare. Please pray for Chelsea. She is doing much better today though.

So yes. That was the week. Now I need to drive back to Shippensburg for my 3:30 final =D

| day 133 |

"It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone."
---
Thanks Fran - and yeah, I don't know how we managed this.

| day 132 |

"Humor is a spontaneous, wonderful bit of an outburst that just comes. It's unbridled, its unplanned, it's full of surprises."

| day 131 |

"Sounds of laughter, shades of love are ringing through my open ears, inciting and inviting me. Limitless, undying love, which shines around me like a million suns, and calls me on and on..."

| day 130 |

"Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music."
---
We did the official Party in the USA @ 10:30!

| day 129 |

"Face to face you're sweet like candy sticking to my teeth-but underneath so damaging."
---
Quick one today. Too much to do, not enough sleep.

| day 128 |

"And the Grinch, with his Grinch-feet ice cold in the snow, stood puzzling and puzzling, how could it be so?"

| day 127 |

"Red is the color of life. It's blood, passion, rage. It's menstrual flow and after birth. Beginnings and violent end. Red is the color of love. Beating hearts and hungry lips. Roses, Valentines, cherries. Red is the color of shame. Crimson cheeks and spilled blood. Broken hearts, opened veins. A burning desire to return to white."

| week eighteen |

This week completely sucked in the workload sense, and this coming week isn't going to be much better. I am just ready for this semester to be over.

As for pictures, nothing spectacular I think this week, save for day 123. It was actually another emotional picture, and I had a lot of fun doing it. It's definitely in the top 5 now and I'm glad so many other people like it too.

Other than that though, a lot were rushed and didn't have much depth behind them for the most part. Regardless...I'm almost done. As long as I can pump out this 7 page narrative tonight, I'm golden.

Also, three of my friends have also started their own 365's now =) Please check out their blogs on the bottom of my sidebar, right below my ever-changing poll.

Until next time.

| day 126 |

"A song she heard of cold that gathers like winter's tongue. Among the shadows it rose like blackness in the sky, that on volcano's vomit, rise a stone of ruin. From burn to chill, like black moonrise, her voice fell still..."

| day 125 |

"If you try and lose then it isn't your fault. But if you don't try and we lose, then it's all your fault."

| day 124 |

"Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love."

| day 123 |

"'What do you fear, lady?'
'A cage. To stay behind bars, until use and old age accept them, and all chance of doing great deeds is gone beyond recall or desire.'"

| day 122 |

"You know that place between sleeping and awake, that place where you can still remember dreaming? That's where I'll always think of you."

| day 121 |

"Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do."

| day 120 |

"I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity."

| week seventeen |

This week was a very good week for me on a personal level. Most of the images spoke more volumes about myself than I would ever be able to express in words. I don't think many people realized this.

Also, I was feeling very feminine this week - and as I said, a lot of myself was put into these. I think that's why I feel as if a lot of women (as a whole) could possibly relate to these images more. The more I pour into them, the more people get out of them themselves.

I will say though that I was very disappointed by the misinterpretation of my day 117. The bruises were subtle for the specific reason that the issue being addressed is usually not acknowledged, or just not noticed. You look at it, see it, but shrug it off and look at another part of the image because it's probably just a trick of the light. Regardless, I did not want people to think I was being shoved against the wall in a sexual manner...despite my affinity for the mentioned act. Oh well.

Another thing - two good friends asked me my favorite photo thus far, so I actually went through and figured it out by process of elimination. After comparing images that were my favorites in a photography sense, and which were my favorite in an emotional sense, I felt that day 76 encompassed both of these for me. Now, day 117 is in 2nd, with day 67 in 3rd.

These next three weeks are going to be absolute murder for me at school, so please be patient if I slack at times. But until next time...

| day 119 |

"I wear the chain I forged in life. I made it link by link, and yard by yard; I girded it on of my own free will, and of my own free will I wore it."

| day 118 |

---
No quote =)

| day 117 |

"The bruises go away, and so does how you hate, and so does the feeling that everything you receive from life is something you have earned."

| day 116 |

"She was one of those people who was born for the greatness of a single love, for exaggerated hatred, for apocalyptic vengeance, and for the most sublime forms of heroism but she was unable to shape her fate to the dimensions of her amorous vocation, so it was lived out as something flat and gray trapped between her mother's sickroom walls, wretched tenements, and the tortured confessions with which this large, opulent, hot-blooded woman made for maternity, abundance, action, and ardor- was consuming herself."
---
My apologies about the original one posted. My power went out and I had to quickly upload it before the internet went.

| day 115 |

"Women are made to be loved not understood."

| day 114 |

"It is the destiny of a woman to suffer in silence."

| day 113 |

"There are two basic motivating forces: fear and love. When we are afraid, we pull back from life. When we are in love, we open to all that life has to offer with passion, excitement, and acceptance. We need to learn to love ourselves first, in all our glory and our imperfections. If we cannot love ourselves, we cannot fully open to our ability to love others or our potential to create. Evolution and all hopes for a better world rest in the fearlessness and open-hearted vision of people who embrace life."

| week sixteen |

4/13! Like...1/3ish of the way there.

The first picture from this week is probably my favorite, hands down. It was just so much fun to take. I will say that 112 was a close second, if not a first just because of how much went into it. It was an emotional one and meant a lot to me in very different ways. All in all, not a terrible week.

I think I'm getting back into a groove again. I don't feel like I'm in such a slump with my photos, and I'm getting into that habit of thinking about it throughout the day again instead of so last minute.

I'm going to thank people who are always with me through this. Whether through comments (Hilary and Fran), "like"-ing on Facebook (Kris), helping me decide on a picture (Pam), helping me pick a quote with awesome analytical skills (Mike), or just being there (everyone). You guys rock. Thank you.

| day 112 |

"Unfortunately, the clock is ticking, the hours are going by. The past increases, the future recedes. Possibilities decreasing, regrets mounting."
---
Today was an emotional one.

| day 111 |

"What is that feeling when you're driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing?- it's the too-huge world vaulting us, and it's good-by. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies."

| day 110 |

"Still, in that instant, I felt well. Whole. I could feel my heart racing in my chest. The blood pulsing hot and fast through my veins. I was perfect - not healed, but as if there had been no wound in the first place. It was like there had never been any hole in my chest."
---
The original junkie =)

| day 109 |

"Every sad thing, every loss or hurt really challenge love that much more, really, just another of beauty's many strongholds."

| day 108 |

"Listen, to the song here in my heart. A melody I start, but can't complete."
---
The first time I couldn't find a quote. Thanks chief.

| day 107 |

"She puts on her make-up the same way she did yesterday, hoping everything's the same, but everything has changed."

| day 106 |

"I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe that tomorrow is another day and I believe in miracles."
---
Today, I put a playlist on shuffle and just stood in the bathroom with my camera. I was feeling very emotionless, so I let the songs fill me up instead. I took pictures of myself during each song, and this was my favorite.

I'm also not going to tell you the song (and if my roommates give it away, I'll shun them).

| week fifteen |

I hit day 100!! That's like, 1/3-ish of the way there...right?

This week wasn't too bad photo-wise I think (despite being sick at the beginning of it). Day 101 has been in my head for a while, but I just didn't know which way I wanted to go about it. Day 102 was fun to take...although I was all over the place until I decided what I really wanted. Like, I was in a dress, doing my hair, going nuts, etc.

I AM trying to do photo's that contain more of "myself" (in the physical/visual sense). It was pointed out that I take too many pictures of pieces of myself, and not of a whole. I have noticed this, I just haven't acknowledged it to the public. Not that it's an excuse, but I will say it is a bit difficult to do full body pics of myself when I don't have someone there to re-focus the lens for me once I'm in the shot. I try though.

In response to last week's post - I was sick, and that was a very whiny journal. But in my "defense", I still feel like there is a happy medium between "telling me it's a piece of crap" or to "lie and coddle" me. I'd prefer that, on the bad AND good pictures that people give me constructive criticism. I'd love to hear what people like and dislike about each picture instead of the generic, "Omg, I love this!!!" Regardless, it's good to hear from you...

Until next week.

| day 105 |

"Thinking about something is like picking up a stone when taking a walk, either while skipping rocks on the beach, for example, or looking for a way to shatter the glass doors of a museum. When you think about something, it adds a bit of weight to your walk, and as you think about more and more things you are liable to feel heavier and heavier, until you are so burdened you cannot take any further steps, and can only sit and stare at the gentle movements of the ocean waves or security guards, thinking too hard bout too many things to do anything else."
---
I know, I look thrilled to be there. Stupid assignment.

| day 104 |

"Beneath the makeup and behind the smile I am just a girl who wishes for the world."

| day 103 |

"You think because he doesn't love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn't want you anymore that he is right -- that his judgment and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him. Don't. It's a bad word, 'belong.' Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn't be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can't even see the mountain for the clouds. But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? His head. The clouds never cover the head. His head pokes through, because the clouds let him; they don't wrap him up. They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him. You can't own a human being. You can't lose what you don't own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don't, do you? And neither does he. You're turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can't value you more than you value yourself."

| day 102 |

"It hurts to let go. Sometimes it seems the harder you try to hold on to something or someone the more it wants to get away. You feel like some kind of criminal for having felt, for having wanted. For having wanted to be wanted. It confuses you, because you think that your feelings were wrong and it makes you feel so small because it's so hard to keep it inside when you let it out and it doesn't come back. You're left so alone that you can't explain. Damn, there's nothing like that, is there? I've been there and you have too. You're nodding your head."